It Is Simple To Be Healthier and Happier

I will call this a myth because I don't think it is true for most of us, especially those of us raised in Calvinist traditions, where suffering is a sign of virtue and intelligence.  It isn't.

To the contrary, "Research suggests that the best self-help advice may have very little to do with yourself", according to this excellent Pocket article.  Instead, the key is learning to like other people.

Which is difficult given the evidence-free "stranger danger" conditioning we were saturated with as children and young parents (fact is, less than 1% of abductions are by strangers).

Here's the most fascinating cognitive bias in the article:
"Research shows that we tend to think we're better than average at almost everything, meaning that others are worse - including less trustworthy[emphasis mine] . . . we tend to think our own motivations are intrinsic whereas others' are extrinsic" (I work hard because I love my job.  They work hard only because they're getting paid).

Isn't it sad that that we have trouble assuming that others have good intentions?  We should give others the benefit of the doubt unless they provide evidence to the contrary, shouldn't we?

"Finally, while research on optimism—including assuming the best of others—almost universally shows its benefits for success and satisfaction in both work and life, people tend to fear being seen as an unrealistic “Pollyanna.”"

Gary

Your Constructive Comments are Welcome!

I Asked My Readers "What Makes You Happy?" - here's what they said

There’s a lot we could be talking- and worrying -about lately.

The pandemic.

Vaccination rates.

Earnings.

Impeachment.

Markets.

Politics.

Instead, we asked our readers something else entirely:

And here are some of the great responses  . . . which inspired us and made us smile!  From feeling the south wind blow to the smell of freshly-bloomed flowers, our readers reminded us of the importance of slowing down and enjoying the good things in life. 

• "My dog greeting me at the door when I come home with a happy wag." 
   
• "[After the 2021 snowstorm] I loved the way the ice sparkled on the snow and the limbs of the trees (and was grateful that I had the trees pruned last year)".  

• "Spoiling the COVID kitty my daughter loaned me for the past year."

• "Having the kids and the grandkids living with us has given me so wonderful times, laughs and most of all happiness. I have had the privilege of being part of their lives that I would have missed if we hadn’t lived together."

• "When I let the dog out first thing in the morning, I love the feel of the south wind."
  
  
• "I like to stay busy with productive projects, some very basic things like putting my shop floor tools on wheels"
  
  
• "Happiness is experiencing life, whether that's spending time with old friends or making new ones; whether that's writing, photography, other art; whether that's exploring the outdoors, lugging a 50-pound pack up a mountain, stopping at the top for the moment and easing down the other side."

• "My hot tub makes me happy!"

•  Wherever I go or what I do, I’ll pick up a hat to commemorate what I’m doing at the time. Kind of a story of my life collection. This brings a smile to my face when I reminisce about the places I’ve been and the many things I have done over the years.

• "The smell of high desert soil and dry country plants, like sage."

• "A regular written gratitude list with at least 3 to 5 different things on it. For today? Heat, indoor plumbing, corrective lenses and antibiotics."

• "Zoom meetings with my dance family."

• "The fragrance of honeysuckle, Lady Banks rose,  Rosa Penelope, Casa Blanca lilies, lavender, and rosemary."

• "When I notice I am in the space between a breath."
  
  
• Seeing things in nature such as birds feeding at the bird feeder.
  
  
• Seeing all the colors of a beautiful rainbow right here in Portland.
  
  
• Blue skies with fluffy white clouds and the sun shining.
  
  
• Spending time doing anything with my significant other whether it be a meal, a car ride, a walk, or just watching a good movie together.
  
  
• Planning future adventures with a friend or family member or significant other.
  
  
• Practicing my Spanish or playing brain games on my iPad Pro or listening to an audio book.
  
  
• Getting a really good nights sleep and waking up feeling refreshed and ready for the day.
  
  
• Having a day when I can do anything I want or even absolutely nothing if I choose to.
  
  
• Knowing I have some really excellent people in my life including you Gary Duell.  

• Nurturing connections with the people I care about.  
  
  
• Doing things to make the world a kinder place. 

My personal recipe for happiness is:

Being present with whatever and whomever I'm with in the moment.  

Not judging.  

Not wishing things were different, like some perfect past or idealized future.  Such fruitless wishing leads to stress, exhaustion and a feeling of lack of control.

If I can get some of that focus into each day, I call it a good day, even if it wasn't particularly fun.

I’ve also found that simple things bring me joy, even when I’m stressed or not feeling my best.

Our dog visiting me at my desk.  A nap in my lap (despite her fifty pounds).  Or a quick game of tug-o'-war.

Smiles and laughter from my spouse.

And, especially, time spent in nature, breathing in the air and hearing the wind in the fir trees, our footsteps on the trail & happy dog at our side. . . . then behind us  . . then in front of us.  Shinrin-yoku, Japanese for "forest bathing", is a practice I can identify with.

Your Constructive Comments are Welcome!